struggle
i'm at work - at night. this fucking sucks bullocks. i work in the morning, but every once in awhile these bitches ask me to work at night and instead of saying fuck you, i say. ok. i could use the money. because i could use the money- all FUCKING $18 of it. jesus christ this job is not the brightest spot on the horizon. not only do i have to come here at 8:30 AM now i'm here at 8:30 pm. only 44 minutes to go and i can go home and sit on the couch- or in craig's papaw's chair. craig. that's a whole different topic. my roomate. one of the two boys. how in the world i started living with these boys still shocks me. it's good times as long as none of us fuck. that's the last thing i need after this week.
i guess i will say part of my shitty mood is because my eyes hurt from not taking them off the screen. b gave me his blogger address and it's consumed me. over the last few hours i have managed to read all of his entries over the last couple years. not only because i'm bored, but because i'm trying to decide if this person actually exists. he's got some major depression issues, but god damn he's funny. and he's got some balls too..some that are probably slowing him down in the city cause he's gotta drag them bitches around and they HEAV- E.
really though, i have become obsessed with reading your entries and figuring out what will happen next. or if you'll make it another day. you're the best, b. and i can not believe GOD DAMN PUDDIN POPS are back on the shelf. i about came in my pants and all over this office when you said that. got to get me some yummers. those things were all i ate when i was a young in. jesus- what about the gelatin pops?? don't let me down..SHOW ME GELATIN POPS!
so - tonight sucks because i'm realizing that i have had yet another failed/fucked up week with a boy and that i can't handle any kind of regular type of dating. mattie has gone back to louisville and i'm left with a huge chunk of chrystal on my pillow as a gift thinking what the hell is wrong with me? the problem is that people seem attracted to me in very obsessive ways. and i like it. i like it that someone told me they loved me after being with me for 3 days, but it's not right. it's not RIGHT lala,- focus on that. it's not right. as my friend, (past lover) put it recently, they aren't in love with you, they're in love with your pussy. which is another issue all together. i mean, sure, it's great to have world famous puss, but at the end of the day, i just want to love someone back. i'm beginning to think that i'll die alone. a crazy fucked up artist writer lady in a house full of rabbits. cats would be too sane. rabbits. all kinds of humping rabbits. and soloman, my old pet rabbit, will be there, stuffed over the mantle and they'll just fuck all day and all night and i'll masturbate like i'm about to go do in the dressing room.
lxxx
i guess i will say part of my shitty mood is because my eyes hurt from not taking them off the screen. b gave me his blogger address and it's consumed me. over the last few hours i have managed to read all of his entries over the last couple years. not only because i'm bored, but because i'm trying to decide if this person actually exists. he's got some major depression issues, but god damn he's funny. and he's got some balls too..some that are probably slowing him down in the city cause he's gotta drag them bitches around and they HEAV- E.
really though, i have become obsessed with reading your entries and figuring out what will happen next. or if you'll make it another day. you're the best, b. and i can not believe GOD DAMN PUDDIN POPS are back on the shelf. i about came in my pants and all over this office when you said that. got to get me some yummers. those things were all i ate when i was a young in. jesus- what about the gelatin pops?? don't let me down..SHOW ME GELATIN POPS!
so - tonight sucks because i'm realizing that i have had yet another failed/fucked up week with a boy and that i can't handle any kind of regular type of dating. mattie has gone back to louisville and i'm left with a huge chunk of chrystal on my pillow as a gift thinking what the hell is wrong with me? the problem is that people seem attracted to me in very obsessive ways. and i like it. i like it that someone told me they loved me after being with me for 3 days, but it's not right. it's not RIGHT lala,- focus on that. it's not right. as my friend, (past lover) put it recently, they aren't in love with you, they're in love with your pussy. which is another issue all together. i mean, sure, it's great to have world famous puss, but at the end of the day, i just want to love someone back. i'm beginning to think that i'll die alone. a crazy fucked up artist writer lady in a house full of rabbits. cats would be too sane. rabbits. all kinds of humping rabbits. and soloman, my old pet rabbit, will be there, stuffed over the mantle and they'll just fuck all day and all night and i'll masturbate like i'm about to go do in the dressing room.
lxxx
posted by lauren argo at 9:02 PM
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