i am a bird now

i wish i could
take this feeling
wrap it in a ball
make string
out of it
tie my mouth shut.

never kiss you again:
want to.

i wish i could freeze the world.
time.
life:
live it until i am born again.

i want a thousand lives,
loves.
over and over.
feel like it will last forever
and then, it does.


my apartment is
a
l
l

m
i
n
e

.

i feel the loneliness of life set in.
sink into my bones till
the bottom of my tongue
gets heavy.

and falls apart.
one piece at a time.

xxx.

i'm off to see: the wizard

hello again.

**


four years ago i started writing a blog on this site.

compelled by my friend alyssum, i started.
and today i'm starting:
again.

--

when looking back at my blogs i thought two things:
1. did I REALLY say THAT?
and
2. you dirty mouthed bitch!

and so,
know i'm thinking:
let's try again.

thanks again:
alyssum.
you seem to give me courage.
you set a brill example.
and wow- you've written a lot of blogs.

I SHALL JOIN YOU.

maybe this can be my new journal so i don't feel so worthless anymore.